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Morons (excluding Troy, see his blog for HIS stupidity) The Further Adventures of Sheriff Larry The Bacchanal Music and Food-to-Go Things Troy wishes he had said
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Welcome To The Nell PorkAnnoy, DSPM Page
Due to the increased amount of graft and corruption at the WORLD DOMINATION MOTOR CAR CORPORATION, I have decided to give the District 1 Dastardly Service and Parts Mangler a window into the Black Hole known as this website...
So! As of this wrinting ( 2-28-08 ), my underwear are in a decided bunch!!! (Yes, again....)
Mr. Niles PorkAnnoy has seen fit to ignore me once again!!!!
This is not a good thing...
Considering that I am - or should I say WAS - a big fan of him and his rapid rise to power, following in the hoof prints of a certain George A. Bilson, 33 & 1/3, I find it highly irresponsible, in the strongest possible terms, that he has continued to ignore me.
Seeing that I, and I alone, am President and Chief Bonehead of that immensely popular and world renowned website tncdonson.com, you would think he would know better than to bypass the common courtesies. Hell, even that Golden Shiv carrying Warranty Sensei, Mike Keller, (ALL HAIL HIS HALLOWED NAME!!!!!!) never dared to forget or be too busy. MISTER Keller (who, unfortunately, has gone to a better place) never missed a chance to say hello, reach up and give a fatherly squeeze of your elbow and then yell his encouragement to all of us: "Buck Up Lads!!! They may take your CSI Bonus, they may back-flag your ass off, but they can never take away your freedom to find a worse dump than this one to work in!!!" Yes, he'd had to perfume himself with his trademark Aqua Velva aftershave (and honestly what warranty clerk doesn’t love an Aqua Velva man??) to cover the smell of 80w90 gear oil, burnt metal, fire extinguisher residue, the odor of several previously digested burritos, the ever present smell of big, strong, burly, manly men and one short, skinny oriental. But he would steel himself to the torture and actually step out onto the battlefield and fraternize with what is the sharp end of the dealership's stick...
Not Mr. PorkAnnoy, though. It seems he has, on the last 2 visits to my dealership, failed to come out into the shop and have the common decency to say even a fleeting "helloooo!". Yet he has made time to see the Warranty Princess (aka my wife) and been all chummy with her at her dealership of fools but has continued to ignore me??!! Maybe he is afraid to soil the bottoms of his Famous Footwear 3 for $20.00 loafers (the ones with the silly, foofy little tassels) with the sweat, blood and other bodily fluids of the common fighting men known as mechanics. Maybe the sight of hard working COMMONERS like us turn his stomach (especially after his Large Suburban Dealership Paid For Lunch at the local High Falutin Chick-Filet Restaurant)... Maybe he is just too good for us. Maybe he just doesn't care since he's got Cotts Wrong to do all his dirty work for him. And by the way, what kind of high jinks at the World Domination Motor Car Company did he pull to get THAT to happen?
Be sure to watch these pages as in the coming weeks Mr. Niles PorkAnnoy will be seeing the full force and fury of a mechanic scorned. My spies are already scouring the internet to find out the true story of his rise to power.
Soon, Mr. PorkAnnoy, soon I will have you in my evil clutches...
You haven't heard the last of this, PorkAnnoy!!! I will not suffer this blatant insult and injury to my person in silence!!!! I'll be back, PorkAnnoy, rest assured of that!! Your mommy won't be able to save you from the web bullies this time!!! MUUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! 02/28/08 In a strange and totally unexpected turn of events, the ever too busy to see me Niles PorkAnnoy, WORLD DOMINATION MOTOR CAR CORPORATION DSPM, has responded to my challenge to defend his previous boorish behavior: "
First of all, let me set the record straight - To which I respond thusly: 1/10. Maybe if you shopped at any other Payless than the one on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills you would know better... Z. I have not seen you since before the Holidays. Are you telling me that we are not granted the pleasure of your presence except for 1 time every 3 months? IV. Errr, achhh, OOOOOO!!!!! Just let me say this!!!!! It is ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, Mr. Smarty Pants!!!!!!
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