Working Debauchery
Just to piss off a bunch of people (I mean more than usual) and because I am so damned overheated, I am telling you there is no such place as Hell…
Unless, that is, you are talking about the alignment rack at 8425 W Bell Rd. Peoria, AZ 85384 during the summer months…
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Oh, shut the hell up, you whiney gas bags that can not be bothered to look into anything unless someone else leads you there by the nose!!
As for the Christian and Islamic version of Hell, that was just a story to whip the masses into shape before they got out of hand. Eternal Damnation ( besides being the name of my new band ) is just another instance of various boneheads threatening the flock. Trust me, nowhere in the original Aramaic, Hebrew or Greek texts (as of 200 AD when the Dead Sea Scrolls were written) is “Hell and Eternal Damnation” mentioned in the same sentence. “Hell” ( or “Sheol” for for my Jewish friends ) litterally means “The place or state of the dead” and was also referred to as the garbage dump outside of Jeruselem.
So basically, if you were a total screw-up on earth, after being judged you would be destroyed and your soul vaporized. Riddle me this, Batman: Why would Job ask his God to be sent to Eternal Damnation and Torment to be RELIEVED from TORMENT??!!! As a reference please look here.
End of story.
And, yes, I am waiting for the crowds to gather and stone me…
And as in the Monty Python movie Life of Brian I will use God’s true name as I am being stoned to death:
“Jehovah, Jehovah!!!”
*You’re just making it harder on yourself!*
“What could be worse than this? I’m being STONED to death!!! Jehovah, Jehovah!!!
But I am still right!!
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I swear to gawd I can make cake batter, put in in pans and set them on my tool box and in 42 minutes even Betty Crocker herself would be proud.
Even the news pukes no longer think people will believe it is going to be merely “hot”.
OHHH NOOOO!!!!
Now there say things like “Scorching”, “Blast Furnace”, “Surface of the Sun” and my personal favorite, “Drink plenty of water because the coyotes prefer well-marinated corpses…”
Dante wrote Dante’s Inferno while making the mistake of vacationing in East Mesa during July. The demons he described were all the poor bastards he saw whose A/C was on the fritz.
Good Gawd, even the local wildlife is hating it!!! Yesterday I saw a desert tortise running(!!!) across the street yelling “Ow!! Shit!! Piss!! Fuck!!!” because the asphault was melting under him from the Solar Radiation…
I am in the middle of constructing my own solar powered personal A/C system using Reynolds Wrap Aluminum Foil, Balsa Wood, Cayenne Pepper, 3 Tesla Coils (No I did NOT learn my lesson!!) and a 5 gallon aquarium… I would ask my oldest son, the Cal Poly Pamona Educated Mechanical Engineer for help, but this is cutting edge stuff and his frilly-dilly Michael’s Craft Store apron might get in the way…
And yes I got nothin’ else… So sue me.
Hell, everyone else has…