Troy's Rants and Ravings

My darling wife, (who I honestly fear above all others) has yet again reduced a poor, dumb, drunk, bastard, mechanic to ashes once again.

I would love to say that this is the first and only time she has done this, but, alas, I cannot.

The story starts with her being the Grand High Exhaulted Warranty PooBah (as appointed by God T. Creator) of the Avondale, Arizona Domination MotorCar Corporation (a Holy Owned subsidiary of the World Domination MotorCar Corporation).  This is a position she has held for the indeterminant  period of time commonly known as  ”Some Time”…  She is in constant non-contact with those Bastions of Warranty Policies and Procedures, the two guys who actually put the “War” in Warranty, fresh from the Service Manager Clone Wars on Rigel 6, William Von Beakman and Lauren Muncey.

Evidently a poor mutant tech, formerly from another “dealer” who went down the tubes for improper warranty procedures thus burdening my wife with their detrious, decided that the Policies and Procedures laid out before him by the Right Hand of God, Cecily A. (for Abominable is this particular instance) Donson were in fact “in error”.  The poor bastard was then, in fact,  aided and abetted by a Parts Counter Guy who, in all honesty, should have known better.

The gist of the matter is that there were relatively few survivors and those that did are now drooling imbiciles…I mean even worse than before…

Witnesses can only describe a low frequency humming noise and clouds appearing out of a clear sky. A ragged bolt of lightning was then seen to, with pinpoint accuracy, light the Little Goddess’ Cigarette as she enjoyed the afterglow of her total domination. She was then seen calling her mild mannered and long suffering husband to gloat about her latest conquest.

You see there was a, shall we say, difference in opinion between the High Holy Warranty Goddess, the Parts Underling and the Two Steppin’, Tie Rod Tote’n Technician. If a tech completes a “warranty repair” all parts must be turned in to the parts department and then signed for, tagged and bagged. If this is not done and the World Domination MotorCar Corp asks for those parts back and does not get them because they were thrown away, the entire repair gets charged back to the dealer. For some reason, when this happens, the Warranty Goddess gets quite perturbed as shown in the video.

Since no one in their right mind would volunteer for the re-enactment, I have taken the liberty to use the magic of pirating a favorite gollywood movie to illustrate an approximation of the Warranty Holocaust. No Techs or Parts Guys were harmed in the making of this video. Although if it happens again, all bets are off.

Cecily Going Off

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Troy Ok, So I'm an Idiot...