“Stop Being Childish…”
So here it is, 3:32 am, 32 minutes after the hour, 28 minutes in front of 4am.
( Triple time!!! <sniff> )
We have been listening to Pink Floyd’s Delicate Sound Of Thunder live album. And for all you RockBand and Guitar Hero freaks and nut jobs, it took 2 drummers, 2 keyboard players, 3 backup singers, a bass player and an auxiliary acoustic guitar player to just barely keep up with David Gilmore during this live show…
Anyway, before I go down THAT road, I do believe it is time to do our weekly 15 minute report on why some of you muldoons who work ( or not ) with The Princess are to be put on the KCAD Trebuchet and hurled far, far away.
You’re listening to KCAD Radio. All about Cecily, _All_ The Damn Time…(sounder)
First off, even though Cecily is in many cases old enough to be your mother, you are not to treat her like your mother if you treated your mother poorly or if your mother’s husband was not 6′ 3″ and 260 lbs of Whoop Ass. (If that even applies to you. We are trying to be sensitive, but if having a mother does not apply to you, please move to the next section titled “Please Board The Catapult For The Trip Out Of This Universe Where Your Atoms Will Be Scattered To The Solar Winds And Where We Will Never Ever have to Deal With You Again (!!!) Like We Have Had To Do These Many God Forsaken Years Since We Have Known You and Hated Your Guts With All Our Considerable Might And Yet Have Not Been Able Up To This Point Been Able To Figure Out How To Get Rid Of The Body(s) Where We Will Not Be Proven Beyond A Reasonable Doubt To Have Made You, In Fact, Go Away.”)
Stop rolling your eyes!!
Yes this is going to be another rant about those little pea brained assholes we all have to deal with.
The Princess is definitely not stupid ( oh, shut up!! Yes, she did marry me, but then she had an extremely weak moment and she likes puppies…) and so of course management thinks by surrounding her with imbeciles and Nin-Cow-Poops, that some of her inner Braniac will rub off. (Yes, I know, it has not worked on me, but it’s not about ME!!). She has been moderately successful at converting the Extremely Heathen Mechanics ( which as you well know is the name of my new band!! Extremely Heathen Mechanics will be opening for Tasty Christian Bitches and Nuns with Nasty Habits at Carlin’s Bar, Grill and Toxic Waste Dump Site – Once again voted #1 place in the West Valley to go and get polluted!!!). But even her arsenal of whips, chains, guns, heavy artillery, cruise missiles and Back Flag Bombs have had no effect on that Demon Spawn Piss-poor Muldoon (DSPM) file clerk.
Hiring a bag of rocks covered in toadstools would have been a better choice… But then again this was the same joint that hired Boob Ripoffski on multiple occasions (who, as we know, was the sole cause of global warming due to his propensity for being a hot air blow hard). Did ANYONE ask this DSPM File Clerk if she could in fact count or even the order of the numbering system? You know:
Interviewer: Why that certainly is a nice blouse. Did it originally come with 1 button or did all the others faint dead away from the enormous pressure of your gigantic rack? brrummphhh I mean, how high can you count?
DSPM File Clerk: <Inhaling Mightily and saying in an unbelievably high pitched voice causing dogs to yelp in agony within a 22.384 mile radius> 10 without taking my shoes off.
Interviewer: <Having pushed his highly distended eyeballs back in his head, mouth gone suddenly dry and squeaky> You’re hired!!!!
And thus once again “Everything is Ordinary”
Here we see a actor portrayed re-enactment of a Service Mangler attempting to retrieve a file as filed by the DSPM File Clerk.
This same moron had the good common sense to then call The Princess and bitch about how The Princess was acting “Childish” right before she hung up and refused to answer when The Princess called back…
To set the record straight:
I have had 4 separate calls from this company asking me to apply. This resulted in no fewer that 487 separate interviews, to which they said “Sorry, can’t use ya” right before they would call me back and ask me to apply again…
Dumber than Owl Shit…
As a parting gift, I have notated the “Firing Order” of our Alpha-Numeric System is as follows:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
You may print the Firing Order out and post it where you will see it if it will help you…
But please whatever you do, please, for God’s Sake, STOP PISSING OFF THE PRINCESS !!!!!!
She comes home and makes me listen her bitch about it, and I just can’t take it anymore…
It’s 6:45, 45 minutes after the hour, 15 minutes ahead of 7am and we are looking inside the DSPM File Clerk’s head and what is her request? She’s asking for, that’s right, Another Hit of Fresh Air here on THE CAD, KCAD-FM, AM, PM, AD, PMS, TKO, BYOB, All Cecily - All the time…
Sounds like what I am going through…cept in my case my boss is a complete jackass/moron/can’t count/doesn’t know how to manage.
BTW: Update your copywrite at the bottom of your homepage. It says 2008.
I think I’m gonna go to bed…I have to hit up the mall this afternoon to look for a job because I am being written up for calling out due to backpain…from a work related injury….that I filled out a report form for….that he neglected to fax in….
Love your show!