Morons in Lot Attendant Bodies
I guess I am getting older everyday, but, as far as I can tell, romping senility has not yet hit me. yet. At least no one, so far, has bothered to try and get me into “Rusted Car Meadows Retirement Homes”….
What I am having an issue with today is the attitude of those young cretins we call “lot attendants”, “shop porters”, or whatever Grand High Exalted Title the snot-nosed little bastards want to be called…. Now don’t get me wrong here, I have seen many GOOD hard-working people parking and washing cars at the various shops I have worked at. But Jesus, God in Heaven, the current crop, as of this writing, has the collective IQ of a bag of rocks. There are not words to describe the lack of common sense these low lifers possess. I will grant you there is 1 or 2 with the semblance of rudimentary intelligence but that may be generous of me to even suggest that….
Maybe after WORKING the last 33 out of 47 years, I guess I have come to expect that if someone is going to pay me for a job. I should at least do SOMETHING for the money… The fact that I have 2 current pet hates on the service drive leads me to believe the end of the world is at hand.
The first Asshole (to protect his stupidity and avoid getting my ass sued off for exercising my 1st Amendment right to “call it like I see it”) we’ll refer to him as A-1. A-1 likes to wear pants 14 sizes too big. Maybe he thinks its a good look to have the crotch of his pants drag the ground as he walks. Good Gawd, if he needs that much room he is in the wrong business and should look into, uh, “acting”, if you get my drift. He also has problems with his knees: he has a pronounced “limp” he affects when walking where people may see him. I have seen L.A. Gang Bangers walk like this before. It must be a genetic defect due to inbreeding as I don’t think there is a gang called “The North Phoenix Scrawny White Guys” yet. Although I may suggest it to him. “The Scrawns” has a kinda nice ring to it…. “Police reports indicate that suspected Scrawns gang members were caught after a short foot pursuit when collectively all their pants fell down. They were last seen limping into custody….” Yeah that’s about the speed of it. I have mentioned that if he can not keep his pants up where they belong, I would gladly use a drywall screw gun and 2 inch screws to secure then firmly in place.
A-2 is a long drink of water…. He stands about 6’2″ – 6’4″ and weighs in at 112.29lbs soaking wet. This deadbeat likes to make hard eye contact and then sneer as he turns right in front of you at a high rate of speed and wonders why you want to throw him like a cheap lawn dart. Currently I am 6’3″ and 255lbs and not a very pleasant person to piss off. When confronted with his little breach of parking lot etiquette, he sneers and asks the question of the imbecilic: “What??!!”. When threatened with great and severe bodily injury he just sneers a little harder. And that folks, well, it really did diffuse the situation. Have you ever seen a 2 year old sneer? It is quite comical to see this baby faced string bean bastard try and look tough. I would suggest joining the Scrawns, but I don’t think even they would have him.
It’s not like being a lot attendant is a demanding job. You park cars, wash cars and tidy up the Service Drive. They do get paid for this, by the way. So how is it that a tech who actually is creating an income stream for the dealership is treated like a door mat by these clowns? When I started out in the business it was not uncommon to have regular “attitude adjustments” to establish a certain “pecking order”. Lot attendants were definitely on the bottom, a good deal below ground level. It took a good attitude and hard work to claw up and out of the hole. Respect was something earned and eventually rewarded. Promotion was something you worked your ass off for.
I guess it’s a new world we live in where lot attendants get promoted straight from parking cars to being a Service Writer and chasing customers off by acting arrogant. These clown’s personal cars are ready to explode at any second ( boy, that $700 rear spoiler, $1800 set of wheels and $3200 stereo really does make it much faster than when I bought it for 73 Lucky Charms box tops… ) but now sell parts and services they don’t understand to people who need to have repairs explained to them in detail. If they are not trying to bullshit their way past their job responsibilities, they are trying to pick up female customers or worse the customer’s daughter ( and, in one confirmed case, the customer’s WIFE!!!! ).
It comes down to what I heard ( and actually paid attention to ) when I was growing up. (And yes I did grow up, contrary to what others may think.) Give value to your employer. You want their money every payday, they want ( and deserve ) your respect and hard work every minute you are there “working”…..
I must be dreaming to think things will ever change….
And pull your gawd damned pants up!