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Kudos to M&M Mars Candies!!!

October 12th, 2008

Okay, so everyone knows I am just a big ‘ol goof ball and that, besides smacking unsuspecting folks in the upper torso with a well aimed fun size MilkyWay, I have no real redeeming qualities…

Thus it was was a few months ago that I was enjoying my newest discovery: The M&M-Mars MilkyWay Caramels. These things are so damn good that I feel God Almighty Himself has not just “touched” the Confectioner in charge but has been tapping rather insistantly on his/her head to give them the inspiration to create such a wonderful treat as these. In all seriousness (or as serious as I get anyway) these are really the absolute best damned candy you can buy in a bag at the local Piggly Wiggly. This is the candy that stays in my tool box and is never launched at those muldoons I have to work with…

Ever.

In fact, for those of you wondering, Peter will be leaving the hospital any day now and after a short 6 months of therapy, he should be able to live a relatively normal life. And let this serve as a warning that UNAUTHORIZED pilfering of my MilkyWay Caramels will be swiftly dealt with in a manner of my choosing. As soon as Peter completes speech therapy and has his forth surgery to remove his belly button from his nasal cavities, you can ask him about it.

Now then, let it be known that, generally, I am one broke (as well as broken down) old bastard. When I _do_ buy candy it is usually on some kind of sale otherwise I stick to the cheapo, junk candy for launching in my home made Trebuchet against the other heathen auto techs I work with. I especially like the ballistic co-efficient of those cinnamon “Atomic Fireball” jawbreakers. They seem to work equally well in my Toolbox mounted Ballista as they do in the Alignment Rack Trebuchet.

However, when it comes to pure chocolate euphoria, sweet sugary salvation or even a cloister of carbohydrate choiceness, how do you put a price on Culinary Creativity? The MilkyWay Caramels are just too good to put a price on. So when I have wiped out the legions of bone-headed personnel that management has saddled me with, with well aimed salvos of inferior brands of “candy”, I sit and reward myself with a well deserved and highly prized handful of MilkyWay Caramels.

Thus it was, not so long ago, that I was enjoying my reward for having repelled an attack from a neighboring Auto Dealer who thought a frontal assault may succeed, when their previous attempts at pilferage by various Seductive Secretaries had failed to secure even one MilkyWay Caramel. (BTW, Seductive Secretaries is the name of my new band!! They will be opening for Nuns With Nasty Habits at Carlin’s Bar and Grill, 59th Ave and Bell Road. Tuesday night features the Gila Monster brand Tequila Shooter Special. Get 10 shooters for the price of 15. Make it through all 10 and the ambulance ride to the hospital is on us!!) I was happily stuffing my pie hole with the best damned candy in the world when I chomped down on something strange indeed.

Spitting out the gooey mass I found not only a piece of a molar but a small, hard, yellow, oblong, not-even-dented, piece of plastic. I nearly shrugged and threw it out but then decided that they may want to know about this before God finds out. Trust me, it’s never good when that happens, it’s even worse when God is looking at you and you’re trying to hide <whatever> behind your back. He knows, oh yes, He definitely knows…

So I e-mail M&M Mars and let them know what happened. A few days later a nice young man from the “Official Cover Our Butt So The Lawyers Don’t Cut Us Up Into Small Bite Size Pieces” division called me and was reading from a script asking if I was planning on bringing an unruly mob with assorted farm implements and torches to the headquarters with a song in our hearts and mayhem on our minds. (Think old Frankenstein movies). After 347 repeated attempts to tell him all I wanted to do was report the problem with one of their machines accidentally dropping parts of itself into my favorite candy and that I was not going to die if I did not have them pay for dental reconstructive surgery, he finally stopped sobbing and begging for his life and said he would send a prepaid envelope for me to enclose “The Item” (like it was nuclear warhead triggers or something…) and the original packaging. A week or so later I received the envelope along with 5 free candy coupons!!!

WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!!!

DING DING DING DING DING!!!!!

WINNER WINNER WINNER!!!!!

So anyway, all the kidding and joshing aside, (no, really!!) the fine folks at M&M Mars have been so nice and upfront with me about this. The very nice lady in Customer Service has called me on at least 3 different occasions to bring me up to date on what they found and if I have had any problems with the broken tooth. “The Item” was, in fact, a piece of a drive belt used in the manufacture of the candy and because I was able to send it back, they have found the problem and improved the system and are in the process of setting up safeguards.

Even though I work for the World Domination Motor Car Company and I really do care about Customer Service and have cared since I started in Automotive over 30 years ago, it really is nice to see companies like M&M Mars really stepping up and taking care of their customers. That (and the super secret hyper-addictive ingredients) will keep me a customer for life.

What a combo!! Excellent product and Excellent customer care. Maybe some other companies could swing by and take lessons.

I wonder…

Maybe if I send this to M&M Mars, they might just cough up a few more coupons…. Hmmm…. What the heck, it’s certainly worth a shot.

Troy Revenge and other fun stuff

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Sarah

October 13th, 2008 at 09:52 | #1

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Bhahahaha Free stuffs for ALL!!!!

Very nice! I will add M&M Mars to the list of companies to continue to shop for…Along with Coca-Cola cause they laughed at me and sent me a bottle gripper to open their confounded new 2-liter bottle caps

Good Job DAD!

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Kudos to M&M Mars Candies!!!

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