Doctors and Nurses have no sense of humor….
After reading my son James’ blog of embarrassing moments I have to admit I am guilty of a few myself…
I guess the one that comes to mind quickest is the mandatory drug test before getting a job somewhere in the mists of the ancient past…
I was younger and wilder I guess in those long ago days. let’s see… Yes it was approximately 25 years or so ago. I was applying for a job at some shop or another and a mandatory drug test was part of the hiring process. I was to take a sheaf of paperwork with me to an apparently new type of medical center. It was called “urgent care”… ( I told you I was old…).
Anyway I gave the nurse all the paperwork and was told to take a seat.
Later that same day….
After reading old copies of Field and Stream and surreptitiously staring at the models in the lingerie section of a newer cosmo mag. I got up to try and find something to drink. The only thing I could find was a vending machine full of fruit drinks. I purchased a Motts apple juice and had a few sips and then pretty much forgot about it…
Another hour or so went by and I was quite antsy. Finally I was called to the little window and given a cup to fill. To be honest I was quite perturbed by now and an evil plan came to mind… Replacing the magazine I was reading back on the table I glanced back and YES!, the coast was clear.
Entering the bathroom I took the bottle of juice out and filled the little cup and proceeded back to the window. the nurse looked at the contents critically and pronounced:
“Mr. Donson, your urine looks quite cloudy!” in an old school teacher type of disdain.
“Really??”, I said taking the cup in my hand and peering through it. “Well let’s run it through again!” I said as I popped the lid and tossed it back and swished it around in my mouth with the accompaning apropriate noises.
Now really, I _WAS_ expecting a reaction, but not that of a nurse screaming that a patient has drank his own urine at the top of her lungs while clutching her chest as if in the middle of a huge coronary event. I half expected Paramedics to be summoned for the old battleaxe…
To make a long story dull, I got an attempted ass chewing by the doctor, ( I ripped him for making me wait 4 hours for a damned pee test!! “I mean, shit, doc! The stuff would be outa my system by the time you clowns ever got the damned sample!!! ) and I failed to secure the job… oh well!
It was one of my better moments. And it kinda proves that whole genetic thing seeing as how all my sons are doing their best to follow in my genetic steps…
Just ask their mom…